Autumn and the Art of Letting Go
There's a particular feeling that arrives with autumn. The light softens and turns golden in the late afternoon. Evenings draw in. Coats come out of cupboards, and the first cold morning catches you off guard.
For some people, this season brings a sense of comfort: candles, warm drinks, the permission to slow down. For others, it stirs something harder to name. A restlessness, a quiet sadness, or a feeling that something is ending.
Both responses make sense. Autumn is a season of transition, and as humans we are deeply affected by change, even when it happens gradually and predictably every single year. Understanding why can help us move through it with a little more kindness towards ourselves.
Why autumn can feel like a new year
Many of us spent our formative years on the school calendar, where September, not January, marked the real beginning. New shoes, new pencil case, new teacher, a fresh start. That rhythm tends to stay with us long after we leave the classroom.
Researchers call this the "fresh start effect". In a 2014 study, Hengchen Dai, Katherine Milkman and Jason Riis found that people are more motivated to pursue goals after what they called temporal landmarks: the start of a new week, month or year, or a birthday. These moments create a mental line between our old self and a new one, making change feel more possible.
Autumn is full of these landmarks. If you've noticed an urge this season to finally tackle something, whether that's a habit, a relationship pattern, or something you've been carrying for a while, you're not imagining it. It can be a genuinely good time to begin.
When the light fades, so can our mood
At the same time, autumn asks something of our bodies. Our internal body clock, or circadian rhythm, is set largely by daylight. As the days shorten, many people find they feel more tired, crave heavier food, struggle to get up in the morning, or notice their mood dipping.
The clocks go back on Sunday 25 October this year. That extra hour in bed is lovely, but darker evenings arrive almost overnight, and plenty of people feel the shift for a week or two afterwards.
For some, this goes beyond the "winter blues". Seasonal affective disorder (SAD) is a form of depression that follows a seasonal pattern, usually becoming more noticeable through autumn and winter. It can show up as persistent low mood, losing interest in things you normally enjoy, irritability, sleeping much more than usual, or feeling lethargic. If that sounds familiar, it's worth speaking to your GP. It's real, it's common, and effective help is available.
What the trees know about letting go
There's a reason autumn has become such a powerful metaphor in therapy. Every year, trees let go of their leaves. They don't cling on or fight it. They release what they no longer need so they can conserve energy, rest through the winter, and grow again in spring.
We find this much harder. Most of us hold on tightly to things that have run their course: old roles, outdated beliefs about ourselves, resentments, relationships that no longer nourish us, or ways of coping that once protected us but now keep us stuck. Letting go can feel like losing something, even when what we're releasing has been weighing us down.
In my work as a counsellor, I often see that people arrive not because something new has gone wrong, but because something old has become too heavy to keep carrying. Autumn offers a gentle question worth sitting with: what might I be ready to put down?
There's no need to answer it quickly. Like the trees, letting go tends to happen gradually, one leaf at a time.
Looking after yourself this autumn
A few small things can make a real difference as the season turns:
Chase the morning light. Even 20 minutes outdoors early in the day, cloudy or not, helps anchor your body clock and lift your energy.
Keep a steady rhythm. Going to bed and getting up at roughly the same time is one of the most underrated things you can do for your mood.
Move your body. It doesn't need to be a gym session. A walk through the park while the leaves are turning counts.
Lean into what autumn offers. Slower evenings can be a gift. Read, cook something warming, call a friend, or simply rest without guilt.
Stay connected. Darker evenings make it tempting to withdraw. Keep making plans with the people who are good for you, even small ones.
Notice, don't judge. If you feel flatter than usual, try meeting it with curiosity rather than criticism. Your feelings are information, not failure.
A season for change
Autumn reminds us that endings and beginnings are often the same thing seen from different sides. It's a natural moment to pause, take stock, and ask what you need for the months ahead.
If this season is bringing up more than you'd like to carry alone, or if you're feeling ready to make a change and want some support with it, counselling can help. At Flow Down, I offer sessions both online and in person in Solihull, with a space to slow down and work through things at your own pace.
If you'd like to talk it through, you can book a free 20-minute consultation.
