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hi@flowdown.co.uk

©2024 by Flow Down Therapy.

***"Flow Flash" - A metaphorical term to describe a quick moment of clarity or insight. ***

The three lines above are a condensed example, you may need to ask IF > THEN a few more times (there is no set amount).

When you have identified your hot thought, then discovered what the underlying belief may be, you can then put it on trial, AKA take your thought to court by seeking factual evidence FOR and AGAINST it, you can then use this evidence to find a more balanced rational thought.

Discovering the root core beliefs gives us an opportunity to recognise how our thinking affects our emotions and behaviours and allows us to develop more balanced perspectives.

Admittedly this can be a difficult task to do alone and is one which I often use in my practice with clients.

For more information check out my Private Practice here: https://www.flowdown.co.uk/

#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #depression #emotions #CBT

***"Flow Flash" - A metaphorical term to describe a quick moment of clarity or insight. ***

The three lines above are a condensed example, you may need to ask IF > THEN a few more times (there is no set amount).

When you have identified your hot thought, then discovered what the underlying belief may be, you can then put it on trial, AKA take your thought to court by seeking factual evidence FOR and AGAINST it, you can then use this evidence to find a more balanced rational thought.

Discovering the root core beliefs gives us an opportunity to recognise how our thinking affects our emotions and behaviours and allows us to develop more balanced perspectives.

Admittedly this can be a difficult task to do alone and is one which I often use in my practice with clients.

For more information check out my Private Practice here: https://www.flowdown.co.uk/

#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #depression #emotions #CBT

Self-blame involves harshly criticising oneself for perceived mistakes, failures, or shortcomings, often leading to feelings of guilt, shame, and low self-esteem. In contrast, self-compassion offers a way to respond to these difficult emotions with kindness, understanding, and a balanced perspective.

A key component of self-compassion is mindfulness. When we are mindful, we are willing to face our pain and suffering and acknowledge it.

The RAIN mindfulness technique is a powerful practice in which you recognise your experience, allow it to be as it is, investigate it with curiosity, and nurture it with self-compassion. The RAIN acronym was coined by meditation teacher Michele McDonald and further developed by psychologist, Tara Brach.

The Four Steps of RAIN:

R - Recognise what is happening in the present moment consciously noticing the thoughts, emotions, or sensations that are arising within you. E.g., you might recognise that you are feeling anxious, frustrated, or sad. Pause and take note of your inner experience without judgment.

A - Allow it to be there without trying to change it, suppress it, or push it away. Allowing means giving yourself permission to experience your feelings or thoughts as they are. This step involves creating a mental space where your experience is acknowledged and accepted.

I – Investigate your experience with a sense of curiosity and openness. You might ask yourself questions like, "What is this feeling trying to tell me"? The goal is to understand the deeper layers of your experience, including the beliefs or unmet needs that may be underlying your emotions. Investigate with kindness, not with an intent to fix or analyse harshly.

N - Nurture yourself with self-compassion. This involves offering yourself kindness and care in response to the difficult emotion or situation. You might mentally offer words of reassurance, or simply acknowledge your struggle with compassion. The idea is to respond to your pain as you would to a close friend who is suffering, with warmth and understanding.

This practice can help us shift perspectives, heal emotionally, reduce shame and build resilience.

For counselling support > flowdown.co.uk

Self-blame involves harshly criticising oneself for perceived mistakes, failures, or shortcomings, often leading to feelings of guilt, shame, and low self-esteem. In contrast, self-compassion offers a way to respond to these difficult emotions with kindness, understanding, and a balanced perspective.

A key component of self-compassion is mindfulness. When we are mindful, we are willing to face our pain and suffering and acknowledge it.

The RAIN mindfulness technique is a powerful practice in which you recognise your experience, allow it to be as it is, investigate it with curiosity, and nurture it with self-compassion. The RAIN acronym was coined by meditation teacher Michele McDonald and further developed by psychologist, Tara Brach.

The Four Steps of RAIN:

R - Recognise what is happening in the present moment consciously noticing the thoughts, emotions, or sensations that are arising within you. E.g., you might recognise that you are feeling anxious, frustrated, or sad. Pause and take note of your inner experience without judgment.

A - Allow it to be there without trying to change it, suppress it, or push it away. Allowing means giving yourself permission to experience your feelings or thoughts as they are. This step involves creating a mental space where your experience is acknowledged and accepted.

I – Investigate your experience with a sense of curiosity and openness. You might ask yourself questions like, "What is this feeling trying to tell me"? The goal is to understand the deeper layers of your experience, including the beliefs or unmet needs that may be underlying your emotions. Investigate with kindness, not with an intent to fix or analyse harshly.

N - Nurture yourself with self-compassion. This involves offering yourself kindness and care in response to the difficult emotion or situation. You might mentally offer words of reassurance, or simply acknowledge your struggle with compassion. The idea is to respond to your pain as you would to a close friend who is suffering, with warmth and understanding.

This practice can help us shift perspectives, heal emotionally, reduce shame and build resilience.

For counselling support > flowdown.co.uk

Reframing thoughts is a crucial process in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) because our thoughts significantly influence our emotions, behaviours, and overall well-being.

How Reframing Works:

1. Identifying Negative Thoughts: The therapist and client work together to identify negative or distorted thoughts that contribute to the client's emotional distress. These thoughts are often automatic and can include cognitive distortions such as catastrophising, overgeneralisation, and black-and-white thinking.

2. Challenging the Thoughts: Once these negative thoughts are identified, the therapist helps the client challenge their validity. This involves examining the evidence for and against these thoughts and considering alternative interpretations.

3. Creating a New Perspective: The therapist guides the client in developing a new, more balanced way of thinking about the situation. This new perspective should be more realistic and less distressing than the original negative thought.

4. Practicing and Reinforcing: Clients are encouraged to practice this new way of thinking in their daily lives. Over time, reframing can help to change ingrained patterns of negative thinking, leading to more positive emotions and behaviours.

Benefits of Reframing:

*Reduces Anxiety and Depression: By changing negative thought patterns, reframing can help reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression.

*Improves Coping Skills: Clients develop healthier ways to cope with challenges and stress.

*Enhances Problem-Solving: A more balanced perspective can lead to more effective problem-solving strategies.

*Promotes Emotional Well-being: A positive shift in thinking can improve overall emotional health and resilience.

Reframing is essential for positive mental health and well-being as it transforms detrimental thought patterns into constructive ones.

For counselling and psychotherapy support, check out flowdown.co.uk

#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #depression #emotions #fear #goals #loss #grief #ACT #CBT

Reframing thoughts is a crucial process in Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) because our thoughts significantly influence our emotions, behaviours, and overall well-being.

How Reframing Works:

1. Identifying Negative Thoughts: The therapist and client work together to identify negative or distorted thoughts that contribute to the client's emotional distress. These thoughts are often automatic and can include cognitive distortions such as catastrophising, overgeneralisation, and black-and-white thinking.

2. Challenging the Thoughts: Once these negative thoughts are identified, the therapist helps the client challenge their validity. This involves examining the evidence for and against these thoughts and considering alternative interpretations.

3. Creating a New Perspective: The therapist guides the client in developing a new, more balanced way of thinking about the situation. This new perspective should be more realistic and less distressing than the original negative thought.

4. Practicing and Reinforcing: Clients are encouraged to practice this new way of thinking in their daily lives. Over time, reframing can help to change ingrained patterns of negative thinking, leading to more positive emotions and behaviours.

Benefits of Reframing:

*Reduces Anxiety and Depression: By changing negative thought patterns, reframing can help reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression.

*Improves Coping Skills: Clients develop healthier ways to cope with challenges and stress.

*Enhances Problem-Solving: A more balanced perspective can lead to more effective problem-solving strategies.

*Promotes Emotional Well-being: A positive shift in thinking can improve overall emotional health and resilience.

Reframing is essential for positive mental health and well-being as it transforms detrimental thought patterns into constructive ones.

For counselling and psychotherapy support, check out flowdown.co.uk

#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #depression #emotions #fear #goals #loss #grief #ACT #CBT

Some types of therapy focus on the past, our traumas and difficulties that seem to be tethered to us which we carry with us from day to day. I agree with looking at these and discovering how we’re able to deal with the events that seem to hold us back from living a more meaningful life. I’m also a believer that having certain goals or ambitions is essential to our existence, but before we embark upon change, we should ask ourselves some deep questions.

Through my work (and personal experience) I appreciate how modern life does not lend itself to asking deep questions. The constant pressure of our responsibilities keeps us focused on today or tomorrow, this can lead us to becoming stuck. If this is the case, perhaps we could benefit from spending time looking at the seemingly less urgent yet more important questions.

One of the reasons we avoid these deep questions is because they can be incredibly difficult to answer and highly challenging and as most of our lives can be packed with responsibility, we may not even put time aside to consider them.

If we have an unclear sense of who we are, why we are, and what we really want out of life, we will tend to define ourselves by our context i.e., the job we do or the relationships we have. However, any changes in this context may be very unsettling for us.

Ask yourself the following questions:

Questions of Identity:
*What are my natural talents and strengths?
*What beliefs about myself limit me, which empower me?
*What can I change about myself? What do I need to accept?
*What drives me, fundamentally?

Questions of Purpose:
*What life goal would be deeply satisfying if I achieved it, and why?
*What does it mean to me to really live?
*What do I really, really want?
*What is my sense of mission, calling or vocation?
Once we gain a deeper understanding of who we are, including our talents, skills, passions, experiences, character traits, and sense of self, we will have a clearer vision of our purpose, what we can contribute to the world, and how we want to live our lives.

Considering therapy?
Web site > http://bit.ly/3GBFZdW
Counselling Directory > https://bit.ly/46Q2jLE

Some types of therapy focus on the past, our traumas and difficulties that seem to be tethered to us which we carry with us from day to day. I agree with looking at these and discovering how we’re able to deal with the events that seem to hold us back from living a more meaningful life. I’m also a believer that having certain goals or ambitions is essential to our existence, but before we embark upon change, we should ask ourselves some deep questions.

Through my work (and personal experience) I appreciate how modern life does not lend itself to asking deep questions. The constant pressure of our responsibilities keeps us focused on today or tomorrow, this can lead us to becoming stuck. If this is the case, perhaps we could benefit from spending time looking at the seemingly less urgent yet more important questions.

One of the reasons we avoid these deep questions is because they can be incredibly difficult to answer and highly challenging and as most of our lives can be packed with responsibility, we may not even put time aside to consider them.

If we have an unclear sense of who we are, why we are, and what we really want out of life, we will tend to define ourselves by our context i.e., the job we do or the relationships we have. However, any changes in this context may be very unsettling for us.

Ask yourself the following questions:

Questions of Identity:
*What are my natural talents and strengths?
*What beliefs about myself limit me, which empower me?
*What can I change about myself? What do I need to accept?
*What drives me, fundamentally?

Questions of Purpose:
*What life goal would be deeply satisfying if I achieved it, and why?
*What does it mean to me to really live?
*What do I really, really want?
*What is my sense of mission, calling or vocation?
Once we gain a deeper understanding of who we are, including our talents, skills, passions, experiences, character traits, and sense of self, we will have a clearer vision of our purpose, what we can contribute to the world, and how we want to live our lives.

Considering therapy?
Web site > http://bit.ly/3GBFZdW
Counselling Directory > https://bit.ly/46Q2jLE

I work with clients across a broad range of common life issues such as anxiety disorders, depression, trauma-related issues, life transitions, loss and grief. I also have a keen interest in self-esteem and identity development (including life purpose), stress management, career issues and relationship dynamics. Through a tailored approach, I empower clients to cultivate resilience and create lasting positive change in their lives.

I offer a free phone/online assessment giving you the opportunity to meet me before committing to therapy.

I understand that each individual's experiences are unique, and I appreciate that taking the step towards therapy can be daunting, however, it is also an investment in your well-being.

The way I work will provide you with a safe therapeutic space for you to explore your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours via a range of therapeutic approaches including, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Psychodynamic, Person Centred, Solutions Focused and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.

I work with clients in-person (B94) or remote (online/phone). For a free initial assessment please contact: hi@flowdown.co.uk

Counselling FAQs can be found here: www.flowdown.co.uk/faq

#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #depression #emotions #fear #goals #loss #grief #ACT #CBT

I work with clients across a broad range of common life issues such as anxiety disorders, depression, trauma-related issues, life transitions, loss and grief. I also have a keen interest in self-esteem and identity development (including life purpose), stress management, career issues and relationship dynamics. Through a tailored approach, I empower clients to cultivate resilience and create lasting positive change in their lives.

I offer a free phone/online assessment giving you the opportunity to meet me before committing to therapy.

I understand that each individual's experiences are unique, and I appreciate that taking the step towards therapy can be daunting, however, it is also an investment in your well-being.

The way I work will provide you with a safe therapeutic space for you to explore your thoughts, emotions, and behaviours via a range of therapeutic approaches including, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, Psychodynamic, Person Centred, Solutions Focused and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy.

I work with clients in-person (B94) or remote (online/phone). For a free initial assessment please contact: hi@flowdown.co.uk

Counselling FAQs can be found here: www.flowdown.co.uk/faq

#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #depression #emotions #fear #goals #loss #grief #ACT #CBT

Overgeneralising is one type of ‘thinking error’ or ‘cognitive distortion’ that humans experience. It happens when we take one piece of information or event and apply it to all future experiences. An example would be reaching for the milk in the fridge to make your morning coffee and dropping it on the floor, often we will think along the lines of “this is going to be a bad day”.

Within Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), there are tools available to help separate ourselves from the feelings which these cognitive distortions create. One tool is called ‘Decentring’ and is the idea that if we can choose to stand back from the feeling (i.e. the frustration of spilling the milk), we can create the ability to not buy into the emotional content of the feeling (i.e. this whole day will be bad) and see it as an individual ‘event’ rather than the overarching sure reality.

Overgeneralising takes one problem and inflates it into a bigger issue. Certain experiences, such as the breakdown of a relationship and the overgeneralisation of “I’ll never find a new partner” will also make it more likely that we won’t even bother looking for a partner again, as we believe if it has happened before, it will happen again so it’s safer to avoid trying.

In moments where you feel a rush of emotion based on one event, consider the following:

*Ask yourself what the costs and benefits are to think this way?
*Search for evidence to support your thought, i.e. what else has happened to support your belief that the day is ruined, is there any?
*Imagine you didn’t spill the milk, and someone else did and you observed it, would you tell them that their day will surely be bad?
*Would other people draw the same conclusions as you have?
*If you were having a great day and then spilt the milk, how would your thoughts differ?

Considering events in a different way can help us develop ‘meta-cognition’ which is the ability to appraise and monitor your thoughts.

Free counselling assessment calls can be booked online @ flowdown.co.uk

#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #depression #emotions #fear #goals #loss #grief #ACT #CBT

Overgeneralising is one type of ‘thinking error’ or ‘cognitive distortion’ that humans experience. It happens when we take one piece of information or event and apply it to all future experiences. An example would be reaching for the milk in the fridge to make your morning coffee and dropping it on the floor, often we will think along the lines of “this is going to be a bad day”.

Within Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), there are tools available to help separate ourselves from the feelings which these cognitive distortions create. One tool is called ‘Decentring’ and is the idea that if we can choose to stand back from the feeling (i.e. the frustration of spilling the milk), we can create the ability to not buy into the emotional content of the feeling (i.e. this whole day will be bad) and see it as an individual ‘event’ rather than the overarching sure reality.

Overgeneralising takes one problem and inflates it into a bigger issue. Certain experiences, such as the breakdown of a relationship and the overgeneralisation of “I’ll never find a new partner” will also make it more likely that we won’t even bother looking for a partner again, as we believe if it has happened before, it will happen again so it’s safer to avoid trying.

In moments where you feel a rush of emotion based on one event, consider the following:

*Ask yourself what the costs and benefits are to think this way?
*Search for evidence to support your thought, i.e. what else has happened to support your belief that the day is ruined, is there any?
*Imagine you didn’t spill the milk, and someone else did and you observed it, would you tell them that their day will surely be bad?
*Would other people draw the same conclusions as you have?
*If you were having a great day and then spilt the milk, how would your thoughts differ?

Considering events in a different way can help us develop ‘meta-cognition’ which is the ability to appraise and monitor your thoughts.

Free counselling assessment calls can be booked online @ flowdown.co.uk

#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #depression #emotions #fear #goals #loss #grief #ACT #CBT

The thoughts on the image are just a few typical examples of our self-talk. We have so many thoughts, literally thousands per day, and they tend to have a bias towards being negative and often go unchallenged.

In ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) ‘Defusion’ is a key tool which people can use to stop thoughts cascading into rumination and anxiety. If we apply cognitive defusion techniques, these help us to develop psychological flexibility by identifying unhelpful thoughts and this allows us to see them merely as words inside our head.

A specific tool which we can use is to give your mind a name. Let’s say I was with a friend, and during a general conversation it would be fair to say that we may disagree on some things, it doesn’t have to be anything major, it could be something like what comedian we find funny, we can disagree and move on.

However, with our internal voice, we don’t usually feel like we have the option to disagree, so we often hear the self-talk and take these comments as true which in turn can affect our self-esteem and confidence.

If we name our mind, then we can create separation from it and be then more able to disagree with it.

The next time you have self-deprecating thoughts, you can simply respond with something like:

“Not helpful, Steve”!
“Oh hi Steve, thanks but no thanks”
“Steve, this is hindering rather than helping”

You can use any name you like for your mind, and you don’t need to challenge them out loud.

ACT is one of the approaches I use within my counselling practice. If you feel like you need support and would like to arrange a free assessment, please get in touch.

#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #NCPS #depression #emotions #fear #goals #humanistic #introjectedvalues #journalling #loss #grief #ACT

The thoughts on the image are just a few typical examples of our self-talk. We have so many thoughts, literally thousands per day, and they tend to have a bias towards being negative and often go unchallenged.

In ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy) ‘Defusion’ is a key tool which people can use to stop thoughts cascading into rumination and anxiety. If we apply cognitive defusion techniques, these help us to develop psychological flexibility by identifying unhelpful thoughts and this allows us to see them merely as words inside our head.

A specific tool which we can use is to give your mind a name. Let’s say I was with a friend, and during a general conversation it would be fair to say that we may disagree on some things, it doesn’t have to be anything major, it could be something like what comedian we find funny, we can disagree and move on.

However, with our internal voice, we don’t usually feel like we have the option to disagree, so we often hear the self-talk and take these comments as true which in turn can affect our self-esteem and confidence.

If we name our mind, then we can create separation from it and be then more able to disagree with it.

The next time you have self-deprecating thoughts, you can simply respond with something like:

“Not helpful, Steve”!
“Oh hi Steve, thanks but no thanks”
“Steve, this is hindering rather than helping”

You can use any name you like for your mind, and you don’t need to challenge them out loud.

ACT is one of the approaches I use within my counselling practice. If you feel like you need support and would like to arrange a free assessment, please get in touch.

#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #NCPS #depression #emotions #fear #goals #humanistic #introjectedvalues #journalling #loss #grief #ACT

In an earlier post on Humanistic Therapy I mentioned that Maslow’s work on human needs and motivation was an influence of Carl Roger’s work on Client Centred Therapy.

The pyramid below outlines stages in which we need to achieve in order to reach ‘Self Actualisation’ or in other words, our full potential. Humans need to work from the bottom up in stages i.e., if someone doesn’t have access to food (basic needs), they’re unlikely to be focussing on needs higher up such as their status (feelings of accomplishment).

The layers (bottom up):
1. Air, food, shelter, warmth, sleep
2. Protection, security, law, freedom from fear
3. Affection, love and belonginess
4. Achievement, independence, status and respect
5. Self-fulfilment, peak experiences and personal growth.

This is relevant to counselling because it identifies that a client must be willing and able to engage in the process, so their needs lower down on the pyramid would typically need to be met. While people may be moving towards the higher stages of growth, they can often be hampered by life events such as loss and illness.

Self actualizers typically display the follow characteristics:

*Tolerate uncertainty
*Accept themselves and others as they are
*Able to look at like objectively
*Spontaneous in thought and action
*Capable of deep appreciation of basic life experiences
*Establish deep satisfying relationships with a few people.

They demonstrate the following behaviours:

*Trying new things
*Evaluating experiences by listening to their own feelings
*Avoid game playing and being honest
*Taking responsibility and working hard
*Try to identify their defences and having the courage to give them up.

For those who feel they are ready to come to counselling, it is absolutely possible to overcome personal difficulties to achieve positive outcomes in life and one of the ways this can help someone is that it is an environment where clients receive empathy, acceptance and genuineness, which are key conditions for someone to grow emotionally.

Image Source: Wikipedia

#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #depression

In an earlier post on Humanistic Therapy I mentioned that Maslow’s work on human needs and motivation was an influence of Carl Roger’s work on Client Centred Therapy.

The pyramid below outlines stages in which we need to achieve in order to reach ‘Self Actualisation’ or in other words, our full potential. Humans need to work from the bottom up in stages i.e., if someone doesn’t have access to food (basic needs), they’re unlikely to be focussing on needs higher up such as their status (feelings of accomplishment).

The layers (bottom up):
1. Air, food, shelter, warmth, sleep
2. Protection, security, law, freedom from fear
3. Affection, love and belonginess
4. Achievement, independence, status and respect
5. Self-fulfilment, peak experiences and personal growth.

This is relevant to counselling because it identifies that a client must be willing and able to engage in the process, so their needs lower down on the pyramid would typically need to be met. While people may be moving towards the higher stages of growth, they can often be hampered by life events such as loss and illness.

Self actualizers typically display the follow characteristics:

*Tolerate uncertainty
*Accept themselves and others as they are
*Able to look at like objectively
*Spontaneous in thought and action
*Capable of deep appreciation of basic life experiences
*Establish deep satisfying relationships with a few people.

They demonstrate the following behaviours:

*Trying new things
*Evaluating experiences by listening to their own feelings
*Avoid game playing and being honest
*Taking responsibility and working hard
*Try to identify their defences and having the courage to give them up.

For those who feel they are ready to come to counselling, it is absolutely possible to overcome personal difficulties to achieve positive outcomes in life and one of the ways this can help someone is that it is an environment where clients receive empathy, acceptance and genuineness, which are key conditions for someone to grow emotionally.

Image Source: Wikipedia

#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #depression

This post isn’t about what happens in the counselling room, it’s about what can happen when someone close to you reaches out for support. Often, we share sensitive personal issues or experiences with people close to us and we don’t set the expectation of what we need in return. It’s common for the person listening to offer advice or tell you what they would do, this can leave us feeling confused and unsure about the course of action, if any, which we should take.

A point on this, any time someone tells you what you should be doing, when you haven’t asked for them to specifically do this, be aware. When someone tells you what to do with your own personal circumstance, this is what THEY would do, not what you SHOULD do, remember that they may be missing a lot of the context (your feelings, past experiences, future expectations or outcomes) so it’s unrealistic for this to be right for you.

Tips if someone reaches out to you for support:

*Offer them a safe space and respect their privacy and don’t discuss this with others unless asked, unless they are at risk of harm (see below)
*Respect that this may be very difficult for them to front up and they may not have spoken about this issue previously with anyone,
*Unless they ask, don’t try and fix the issue for them, simply being there ‘holding’ space for them to explore what is going on for them is a powerful skill,
*Ask them “what do you need” or “how can I support you”?
*Simply by being there, it’s likely they feel less alone, don’t be scared of silence, what you are offering is connection which is fundamental to our wellbeing,
*If you can, consider going for a walk with them, being out in the open can help as it gets them out of their environment,
*Suggest further support for them, GP, counselling or different types of therapy or even a crisis centre via NHS online if they are in danger of seriously harming themselves or others.
*Offer empathy, kindness, curiosity about the issue they are facing.

IMPORTANT – as the listener, have your own boundaries which protect your own needs, you’re likely to have your own issues so be mindful of taking on too much from another person.

flowdown.co.uk

This post isn’t about what happens in the counselling room, it’s about what can happen when someone close to you reaches out for support. Often, we share sensitive personal issues or experiences with people close to us and we don’t set the expectation of what we need in return. It’s common for the person listening to offer advice or tell you what they would do, this can leave us feeling confused and unsure about the course of action, if any, which we should take.

A point on this, any time someone tells you what you should be doing, when you haven’t asked for them to specifically do this, be aware. When someone tells you what to do with your own personal circumstance, this is what THEY would do, not what you SHOULD do, remember that they may be missing a lot of the context (your feelings, past experiences, future expectations or outcomes) so it’s unrealistic for this to be right for you.

Tips if someone reaches out to you for support:

*Offer them a safe space and respect their privacy and don’t discuss this with others unless asked, unless they are at risk of harm (see below)
*Respect that this may be very difficult for them to front up and they may not have spoken about this issue previously with anyone,
*Unless they ask, don’t try and fix the issue for them, simply being there ‘holding’ space for them to explore what is going on for them is a powerful skill,
*Ask them “what do you need” or “how can I support you”?
*Simply by being there, it’s likely they feel less alone, don’t be scared of silence, what you are offering is connection which is fundamental to our wellbeing,
*If you can, consider going for a walk with them, being out in the open can help as it gets them out of their environment,
*Suggest further support for them, GP, counselling or different types of therapy or even a crisis centre via NHS online if they are in danger of seriously harming themselves or others.
*Offer empathy, kindness, curiosity about the issue they are facing.

IMPORTANT – as the listener, have your own boundaries which protect your own needs, you’re likely to have your own issues so be mindful of taking on too much from another person.

flowdown.co.uk

This model is based on the work of Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, a Swiss-American Psychiatrist and a pioneer in near-death studies.

5 key stages of loss:

Denial
After experience loss it’s common for people to carry on as if nothing has happened. It can be hard to make sense of life and we’re likely in a state of shock, but the healing process starts here.

Anger
We can internalise feelings of anger and berate ourselves for not doing things we perhaps could have done when the person was alive. In some cases, we may feel anger towards the person that has died, and feelings of abandonment may also surface.

Bargaining
In this stage we may think of things we could have done differently before the person died, i.e., "If only I had done…X Y Z”, this is known as ‘retrospective bargaining’. We ruminate about the ‘what if’s’, and focus on going back in time in the hope that it would prevent the loss.

Depression
If bargaining focusses on the past, depression is very much a present feeling. These feelings are intense and can come in waves and in these times life can seem like it has lost meaning. It’s normal for this to feel as though it will last forever.

Acceptance
This stage is about learning to adjust to what seems like a new life while still being able to hold the memories of the one(s) we have lost. This isn’t to say that loss is ever ‘OK’, but we can learn to live with it. It is possible to enjoy our future without feeling like we are betraying the one who we have lost.

Some do not always experience all stages and at times they may even regress back into some of the previous stages. The model is adaptable to anything which you have lost that you had a connection with.

I work with many clients who need support with loss, grief and bereavement. This is a common life event for many, and therapy can help understand and explore these emotions, and the ways to eventually adapt to a new way of living. Counselling is a space to air the most painful feelings which in many cases reduces the distress. We’ll never forget what we have lost but in time we’re able to grow and develop around the loss.

Contact me for support.

#loss #grief #counselling #therapy

This model is based on the work of Elizabeth Kübler-Ross, a Swiss-American Psychiatrist and a pioneer in near-death studies.

5 key stages of loss:

Denial
After experience loss it’s common for people to carry on as if nothing has happened. It can be hard to make sense of life and we’re likely in a state of shock, but the healing process starts here.

Anger
We can internalise feelings of anger and berate ourselves for not doing things we perhaps could have done when the person was alive. In some cases, we may feel anger towards the person that has died, and feelings of abandonment may also surface.

Bargaining
In this stage we may think of things we could have done differently before the person died, i.e., "If only I had done…X Y Z”, this is known as ‘retrospective bargaining’. We ruminate about the ‘what if’s’, and focus on going back in time in the hope that it would prevent the loss.

Depression
If bargaining focusses on the past, depression is very much a present feeling. These feelings are intense and can come in waves and in these times life can seem like it has lost meaning. It’s normal for this to feel as though it will last forever.

Acceptance
This stage is about learning to adjust to what seems like a new life while still being able to hold the memories of the one(s) we have lost. This isn’t to say that loss is ever ‘OK’, but we can learn to live with it. It is possible to enjoy our future without feeling like we are betraying the one who we have lost.

Some do not always experience all stages and at times they may even regress back into some of the previous stages. The model is adaptable to anything which you have lost that you had a connection with.

I work with many clients who need support with loss, grief and bereavement. This is a common life event for many, and therapy can help understand and explore these emotions, and the ways to eventually adapt to a new way of living. Counselling is a space to air the most painful feelings which in many cases reduces the distress. We’ll never forget what we have lost but in time we’re able to grow and develop around the loss.

Contact me for support.

#loss #grief #counselling #therapy

I’ve always valued this quote from Rogers, not only does he state the benefit of therapy with someone who can really ‘hold’ you with unconditional regard, but he also accepts that there are fundamental reasons why we do not allow ourselves to fully experience.

I get it, why do we want to re-live the resounding feeling of familiar pain, the common paths we know which we don’t want to go down again, the mistakes, the external expectations, the same conflicts and so on.

All of these experiences shape our being and a lot of the time the impact goes unnoticed. The key to change is awareness and a large bearing on how we feel is our perception of our reality and here we have a choice. We choose how we’ll look at things and we choose to give situations our perspective.

As Ryan Holliday states in the ‘The Obstacle is the Way’:

“Take what you’re afraid of—and break it apart”.

This is challenging, yet rewarding, and can all be done in the safety of therapy.

I’ve always valued this quote from Rogers, not only does he state the benefit of therapy with someone who can really ‘hold’ you with unconditional regard, but he also accepts that there are fundamental reasons why we do not allow ourselves to fully experience.

I get it, why do we want to re-live the resounding feeling of familiar pain, the common paths we know which we don’t want to go down again, the mistakes, the external expectations, the same conflicts and so on.

All of these experiences shape our being and a lot of the time the impact goes unnoticed. The key to change is awareness and a large bearing on how we feel is our perception of our reality and here we have a choice. We choose how we’ll look at things and we choose to give situations our perspective.

As Ryan Holliday states in the ‘The Obstacle is the Way’:

“Take what you’re afraid of—and break it apart”.

This is challenging, yet rewarding, and can all be done in the safety of therapy.

I’m a big advocate of journalling as the benefits are wide ranging. At its simplest it’s a collection of entries you keep about your life that can be looked over and over for years to come, memories that you may otherwise forget. As research continues, it appears to have many benefits to well-being.

Studies have shown that engaging in regular journalling can help reduce stress, manage anxiety and depressive symptoms, enhance self-awareness, promote emotional regulation, and even strengthen resilience in the face of challenges.

Through journalling, you can better track patterns in your behaviour that can lead to positive change. Your journal can also reveal how you’ve changed over time and which coping strategies were the most successful.

You can write a journal or use an app (e.g. DayOne), the latter may be better for those who are worried about privacy.

Here are some journalling prompts that can benefit your mental health:

*How am I feeling today?
*What’s one challenge I’m currently facing?
*How can I work through this challenge?
*What is a negative thought pattern or belief that I have been holding onto?
*How can I challenge or replace this thought?
*What is one fear or anxiety that I currently have?
*What actions can I take to address this fear or anxiety?
*How can I use this knowledge to grow and develop?

Journalling is often used in conjunction with therapy. A trained therapist (@flowdowntherapy) can provide valuable insights, help you navigate difficult emotions that may arise during the journalling process, and offer personalised strategies for self-reflection and growth. Their expertise can enhance the benefits of therapeutic journalling, ensuring that you receive the necessary support and guidance to address your specific mental health concerns effectively.

#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #NCPS #depression #emotions #fear #goals #humanistic #introjectedvalues #journalling

I’m a big advocate of journalling as the benefits are wide ranging. At its simplest it’s a collection of entries you keep about your life that can be looked over and over for years to come, memories that you may otherwise forget. As research continues, it appears to have many benefits to well-being.

Studies have shown that engaging in regular journalling can help reduce stress, manage anxiety and depressive symptoms, enhance self-awareness, promote emotional regulation, and even strengthen resilience in the face of challenges.

Through journalling, you can better track patterns in your behaviour that can lead to positive change. Your journal can also reveal how you’ve changed over time and which coping strategies were the most successful.

You can write a journal or use an app (e.g. DayOne), the latter may be better for those who are worried about privacy.

Here are some journalling prompts that can benefit your mental health:

*How am I feeling today?
*What’s one challenge I’m currently facing?
*How can I work through this challenge?
*What is a negative thought pattern or belief that I have been holding onto?
*How can I challenge or replace this thought?
*What is one fear or anxiety that I currently have?
*What actions can I take to address this fear or anxiety?
*How can I use this knowledge to grow and develop?

Journalling is often used in conjunction with therapy. A trained therapist (@flowdowntherapy) can provide valuable insights, help you navigate difficult emotions that may arise during the journalling process, and offer personalised strategies for self-reflection and growth. Their expertise can enhance the benefits of therapeutic journalling, ensuring that you receive the necessary support and guidance to address your specific mental health concerns effectively.

#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #NCPS #depression #emotions #fear #goals #humanistic #introjectedvalues #journalling

Introjected Values, along with Conditions of Worth form part of the ‘Self-Concept’ theory in Person Centred Therapy. The Self Concept theory is simply the beliefs and values we take on from external sources which we then use as our own beliefs and values. We will develop our own belief system but part of this is likely to come from the values of others which we have absorbed as our own.

A ‘Condition of Worth’ is something which we think we need to be or do in order to receive acceptance from others. In time, these conditions become ‘Introjected Values’ which means that we behave based on the expectations of others, yet we don’t necessarily feel this as incongruence due to lack of awareness.

When we’re young we rely on receiving love and acceptance from our caregivers and in order to receive this, we will often change our behaviours to be in alignment with their values, we can do this as adults too. As we grow older, we will hold a belief system which may conflict with our own worldview which can in turn lead to unhappiness, depression and/or anxiety.

One way to recognise your own ‘Conditions of Worth’ is to consider the times when you think to yourself, “I really SHOULD be doing this, or I MUST be doing that”. Why should you be doing this particular thing? Can you trace this back to childhood?

An example of this would be to consider what you think success is? Where does your definition come from? Is it truly and wholly yours? Or could it be one you have inherited at least in part from someone close to you, or even at a societal level?

Therapy allows people to fully explore and experience their inner world to highlight which parts of their self may not be aligned to their true core beliefs. From there, the person can be more self-aware and develop a deeper trust in themselves and align with the values which are truly theirs, this is known as ‘self-direction’.

#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #NCPS #depression #emotions #fear #goals #humanistic #introjectedvalues

Introjected Values, along with Conditions of Worth form part of the ‘Self-Concept’ theory in Person Centred Therapy. The Self Concept theory is simply the beliefs and values we take on from external sources which we then use as our own beliefs and values. We will develop our own belief system but part of this is likely to come from the values of others which we have absorbed as our own.

A ‘Condition of Worth’ is something which we think we need to be or do in order to receive acceptance from others. In time, these conditions become ‘Introjected Values’ which means that we behave based on the expectations of others, yet we don’t necessarily feel this as incongruence due to lack of awareness.

When we’re young we rely on receiving love and acceptance from our caregivers and in order to receive this, we will often change our behaviours to be in alignment with their values, we can do this as adults too. As we grow older, we will hold a belief system which may conflict with our own worldview which can in turn lead to unhappiness, depression and/or anxiety.

One way to recognise your own ‘Conditions of Worth’ is to consider the times when you think to yourself, “I really SHOULD be doing this, or I MUST be doing that”. Why should you be doing this particular thing? Can you trace this back to childhood?

An example of this would be to consider what you think success is? Where does your definition come from? Is it truly and wholly yours? Or could it be one you have inherited at least in part from someone close to you, or even at a societal level?

Therapy allows people to fully explore and experience their inner world to highlight which parts of their self may not be aligned to their true core beliefs. From there, the person can be more self-aware and develop a deeper trust in themselves and align with the values which are truly theirs, this is known as ‘self-direction’.

#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #NCPS #depression #emotions #fear #goals #humanistic #introjectedvalues

Season's greetings and warm wishes to you all! Wishing you a peaceful and joyful year ahead. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Season's greetings and warm wishes to you all! Wishing you a peaceful and joyful year ahead. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Humanistic therapy is an overarching term for a few defined approaches to psychotherapy, these include Person Centred, Gestalt and Existential Therapy.

Carl Rogers, a prominent humanistic psychologist and the founder of Client Centred Therapy (now referred to as Person Centred Therapy) emphasised the importance of the therapeutic relationship in the process of counselling and psychotherapy.

The theoretical approach is based on the concept that people are inherently good and are able to fulfil their own needs. This concept was aided by Maslow’s work in the 1950’s where he created the pyramid model of human needs and motivation, I’ll explore this later on in the series.

Roger’s model was based on the rationale that to achieve positive change in one’s life, the therapist and client would need to develop a supportive and empathetic therapeutic relationship. To achieve this, the counsellor must exhibit the following ‘core conditions’ whilst working with clients, if these conditions are present, then ‘therapeutic change’ is likely to occur.

Unconditional Positive Regard: This means that the therapist accepts and values the client without judgment, regardless of the client's thoughts, feelings, or behaviours.

Benefit: A safe and non-judgmental space allows the client to explore their emotions and experiences fully.

Empathy: Empathy involves understanding and sharing the feelings of another person.

Benefit: The client is deeply understood by the therapist, fostering a sense of connection, validation and self-acceptance.

Congruence (Authenticity): It’s essential for the therapist to be genuine and authentic in their interactions with the client.

Benefit: Encourages self-exploration while promoting the client to feel empowered.

Humanism involves a therapist looking at the whole person rather than just a single area of their life. It empowers clients to make the changes they need.

Contact me for more info on this type of therapy.

#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #NCPS #depression #emotions #fear #goals #humanistic

Humanistic therapy is an overarching term for a few defined approaches to psychotherapy, these include Person Centred, Gestalt and Existential Therapy.

Carl Rogers, a prominent humanistic psychologist and the founder of Client Centred Therapy (now referred to as Person Centred Therapy) emphasised the importance of the therapeutic relationship in the process of counselling and psychotherapy.

The theoretical approach is based on the concept that people are inherently good and are able to fulfil their own needs. This concept was aided by Maslow’s work in the 1950’s where he created the pyramid model of human needs and motivation, I’ll explore this later on in the series.

Roger’s model was based on the rationale that to achieve positive change in one’s life, the therapist and client would need to develop a supportive and empathetic therapeutic relationship. To achieve this, the counsellor must exhibit the following ‘core conditions’ whilst working with clients, if these conditions are present, then ‘therapeutic change’ is likely to occur.

Unconditional Positive Regard: This means that the therapist accepts and values the client without judgment, regardless of the client's thoughts, feelings, or behaviours.

Benefit: A safe and non-judgmental space allows the client to explore their emotions and experiences fully.

Empathy: Empathy involves understanding and sharing the feelings of another person.

Benefit: The client is deeply understood by the therapist, fostering a sense of connection, validation and self-acceptance.

Congruence (Authenticity): It’s essential for the therapist to be genuine and authentic in their interactions with the client.

Benefit: Encourages self-exploration while promoting the client to feel empowered.

Humanism involves a therapist looking at the whole person rather than just a single area of their life. It empowers clients to make the changes they need.

Contact me for more info on this type of therapy.

#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #NCPS #depression #emotions #fear #goals #humanistic

While having a goal for therapy is important, I often find that these goals can change over time. In counselling, the ‘presenting issue’ is the explicit reason a client enters into therapy. Over time, this can change, so what someone thought was the issue they wanted to work on or explore alters to something else, and this often happens as the client is increasing self-awareness.

The examples above are only a few of the typical goals clients bring to therapy.

If you’re considering counselling, it’s worth having a think about some of your desired outcomes, there may not just be one.

A tool often used in therapy is the ‘Miracle Question’:

“Suppose you woke up one morning and by some miracle everything you ever wanted, everything good you could ever imagine for yourself, had actually happened - your life had turned out exactly the way you wanted it”.

Now think about what is different, what has changed? How do you feel now? What may others notice about you if this change had occurred?

The point of this is to focus on the desired future rather than the undesired present.

The idea is not just to think about this question, but to try to feel and experience the answer fully. The question helps you focus on what you really want to change. This process can help you to start believing that change can happen and the mechanics of which can be looked at during therapy. This is a good way of creating goals for therapy.

When I start working with a client, I’ll always want to know what they want to achieve from the process. During the initial assessment call, it’s important to be clear what the client wants (and needs) from therapy and importantly, whether I feel I’m a good fit for the client’s needs.

Free assessment calls can be booked online @ flowdown.co.uk

#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #NCPS #depression #emotions #fear #goals

While having a goal for therapy is important, I often find that these goals can change over time. In counselling, the ‘presenting issue’ is the explicit reason a client enters into therapy. Over time, this can change, so what someone thought was the issue they wanted to work on or explore alters to something else, and this often happens as the client is increasing self-awareness.

The examples above are only a few of the typical goals clients bring to therapy.

If you’re considering counselling, it’s worth having a think about some of your desired outcomes, there may not just be one.

A tool often used in therapy is the ‘Miracle Question’:

“Suppose you woke up one morning and by some miracle everything you ever wanted, everything good you could ever imagine for yourself, had actually happened - your life had turned out exactly the way you wanted it”.

Now think about what is different, what has changed? How do you feel now? What may others notice about you if this change had occurred?

The point of this is to focus on the desired future rather than the undesired present.

The idea is not just to think about this question, but to try to feel and experience the answer fully. The question helps you focus on what you really want to change. This process can help you to start believing that change can happen and the mechanics of which can be looked at during therapy. This is a good way of creating goals for therapy.

When I start working with a client, I’ll always want to know what they want to achieve from the process. During the initial assessment call, it’s important to be clear what the client wants (and needs) from therapy and importantly, whether I feel I’m a good fit for the client’s needs.

Free assessment calls can be booked online @ flowdown.co.uk

#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #NCPS #depression #emotions #fear #goals

Fear plays a crucial role in our survival. It’s a normal and helpful reaction to threats or risks we perceive. It’s a complex mix of feelings and physical responses that prepare us to face or avoid a possible threat. Fear causes a number of changes in the body, such as the release of stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol which initiate the symptoms detailed in the image above.

While this physiological response is there to keep us away from danger, certain events, people, situations or objects can trigger the ‘fight or flight’ response. Over time, this can become problematic and alter our behaviour to avoid the triggering event and sometimes, this can even develop into certain phobias and disorders.

If you feel fear or panic starting, having grounding techniques will help manage the immediate sensations which can often feel like dread or helplessness. In this moment we ideally want to counteract the fight or flight response so where possible, consider mindfully examining the following:

1. What are 5 things you can see? Check out your immediate environment and see what you notice i.e., patterns, lights, surfaces, people.
2. What are 4 things you can feel? The chair you’re sitting on, the ground beneath you, the clothes you’re wearing.
3. What are 3 things you can hear? Can you hear people talking, traffic, the rain or wind?
4. What are 2 things you can smell? Flowers, scented products, foods.
5. What is 1 thing you can taste? Drink or eat something you are carrying with you and examine the flavours.

Incorporating a breathing technique such as a nasal inhale for 4 seconds, a 4 second hold and a 6 second exhale through your mouth for a 2-minute cycle will help.

Addressing and managing fear may require therapeutic support where you would work through these fears to understand their source, from there you can challenge these fearful thoughts and form more realistic thoughts leading to more adaptive behaviours. You will also be able to develop a ‘toolkit’ of coping strategies.
#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #NCPS #depression #emotions #fear

Fear plays a crucial role in our survival. It’s a normal and helpful reaction to threats or risks we perceive. It’s a complex mix of feelings and physical responses that prepare us to face or avoid a possible threat. Fear causes a number of changes in the body, such as the release of stress hormones like adrenaline and cortisol which initiate the symptoms detailed in the image above.

While this physiological response is there to keep us away from danger, certain events, people, situations or objects can trigger the ‘fight or flight’ response. Over time, this can become problematic and alter our behaviour to avoid the triggering event and sometimes, this can even develop into certain phobias and disorders.

If you feel fear or panic starting, having grounding techniques will help manage the immediate sensations which can often feel like dread or helplessness. In this moment we ideally want to counteract the fight or flight response so where possible, consider mindfully examining the following:

1. What are 5 things you can see? Check out your immediate environment and see what you notice i.e., patterns, lights, surfaces, people.
2. What are 4 things you can feel? The chair you’re sitting on, the ground beneath you, the clothes you’re wearing.
3. What are 3 things you can hear? Can you hear people talking, traffic, the rain or wind?
4. What are 2 things you can smell? Flowers, scented products, foods.
5. What is 1 thing you can taste? Drink or eat something you are carrying with you and examine the flavours.

Incorporating a breathing technique such as a nasal inhale for 4 seconds, a 4 second hold and a 6 second exhale through your mouth for a 2-minute cycle will help.

Addressing and managing fear may require therapeutic support where you would work through these fears to understand their source, from there you can challenge these fearful thoughts and form more realistic thoughts leading to more adaptive behaviours. You will also be able to develop a ‘toolkit’ of coping strategies.
#psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #NCPS #depression #emotions #fear

It’s not uncommon for clients to struggle to identify an emotion, the tool above is useful in therapy as it allows people to view a range of different core emotions and then work out a more fitting acute emotion akin to their experience. As we develop the ability to explore and identify these emotions over time, our emotional literacy will increase, and we will be better placed to manage the emotion.

Emotions vs Feelings

Emotions are different from feelings, but confusion arises as the words are often used interchangeably. An emotion is an instant reaction to an event and is intense and short lived, they are also likely to have a definite and identifiable cause.

A feeling is the follow-on experience after encountering the initial emotion and carries boarder meaning based on our subjective experiences. What we feel due to the emotion may even be based on inaccurate or unproven core beliefs. Past experiences and future fears play into the narrative of how that feeling sits with us.

Tools:

*Using the wheel, consider a recent emotion that suits best from the centre circle (basic feeling states).
*Consider if this description is enough, or whether you can select a more acute emotion from the 2 outer layers.

Identifying these more complex emotional states will enable you to get to the heart of your experience. The easier you find it to select a specific emotion, the better placed you’ll be to find ways to express or manage them.

In addition, you can also ask yourself the following:

*What event triggered the emotion?
*What assumptions may I be making about this event?
*Do my emotions match the facts of the situation or do they match my assumptions of the situation?

If you would like help in identifying or dealing with emotions, feelings, moods or exploring the assumptions or core beliefs which may influence your reactions, then message me for more info and to book a free assessment.

Image quote source: Stanford Encyclopaedia of Philosophy. #psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #NCPS #depression #emotions

It’s not uncommon for clients to struggle to identify an emotion, the tool above is useful in therapy as it allows people to view a range of different core emotions and then work out a more fitting acute emotion akin to their experience. As we develop the ability to explore and identify these emotions over time, our emotional literacy will increase, and we will be better placed to manage the emotion.

Emotions vs Feelings

Emotions are different from feelings, but confusion arises as the words are often used interchangeably. An emotion is an instant reaction to an event and is intense and short lived, they are also likely to have a definite and identifiable cause.

A feeling is the follow-on experience after encountering the initial emotion and carries boarder meaning based on our subjective experiences. What we feel due to the emotion may even be based on inaccurate or unproven core beliefs. Past experiences and future fears play into the narrative of how that feeling sits with us.

Tools:

*Using the wheel, consider a recent emotion that suits best from the centre circle (basic feeling states).
*Consider if this description is enough, or whether you can select a more acute emotion from the 2 outer layers.

Identifying these more complex emotional states will enable you to get to the heart of your experience. The easier you find it to select a specific emotion, the better placed you’ll be to find ways to express or manage them.

In addition, you can also ask yourself the following:

*What event triggered the emotion?
*What assumptions may I be making about this event?
*Do my emotions match the facts of the situation or do they match my assumptions of the situation?

If you would like help in identifying or dealing with emotions, feelings, moods or exploring the assumptions or core beliefs which may influence your reactions, then message me for more info and to book a free assessment.

Image quote source: Stanford Encyclopaedia of Philosophy. #psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #NCPS #depression #emotions

***If you feel like you might attempt suicide, or may have seriously harmed yourself, you need urgent medical help.
Please:
- Call 999 for an ambulance,
- Go straight to A&E, if you can,
- Call your local crisis team - you can find an urgent mental health helpline on the NHS website.

If you can't do this by yourself, ask someone to help you. Mental health emergencies are serious. You're not wasting anyone's time.

Depression should be diagnosed by a GP, this should be your first consideration if you are concerned about persistent bouts of depressive mood.

It’s essential to know that an episode of depressive thoughts doesn’t mean you are or will soon be depressed. We all have ups and downs in the flow of life and certain events can naturally cause us to feel low for periods of time.

The key to combating depressive symptoms is consistent healthy activity, and one which is often free, is movement and exercise. Exercise can promote routine and structure and has cognitive benefits such as the release of Endorphins which are natural painkillers and mood elevators. It also helps the regulation of neurotransmitters such as Serotonin (a mood stabiliser, think about being in sun or nature) and Dopamine (a reward chemical, consider the feeling after you have completed a task).

In an ideal world we’d make positive changes that will last, in reality perhaps smaller steps should be the initial goal, so instead of wanting to exercise by planning a marathon, a 10 min walk would be a positive first step and you can increase this in frequency and intensity from there if you’re able.

Worried about depression? Consider the following:

*Speak to your GP,
*Reach out to a Counsellor,
*Speak to a trusted friend of family member,
*Spend time in nature, exercise, meditate,
*Journal your thoughts and track these over time to pinpoint improvements or deteriorations,
*Look at your diet and alcohol or drug use, is this hindering your mood?
*Complete a Life Audit using a scaling technique, this is where we chart on a scale of 1-10 how fulfilled we are in certain areas of life such as, Friends, Family, Finances, Career, Health, Understanding of Self and, Spirituality (if relevant).

***If you feel like you might attempt suicide, or may have seriously harmed yourself, you need urgent medical help.
Please:
- Call 999 for an ambulance,
- Go straight to A&E, if you can,
- Call your local crisis team - you can find an urgent mental health helpline on the NHS website.

If you can't do this by yourself, ask someone to help you. Mental health emergencies are serious. You're not wasting anyone's time.

Depression should be diagnosed by a GP, this should be your first consideration if you are concerned about persistent bouts of depressive mood.

It’s essential to know that an episode of depressive thoughts doesn’t mean you are or will soon be depressed. We all have ups and downs in the flow of life and certain events can naturally cause us to feel low for periods of time.

The key to combating depressive symptoms is consistent healthy activity, and one which is often free, is movement and exercise. Exercise can promote routine and structure and has cognitive benefits such as the release of Endorphins which are natural painkillers and mood elevators. It also helps the regulation of neurotransmitters such as Serotonin (a mood stabiliser, think about being in sun or nature) and Dopamine (a reward chemical, consider the feeling after you have completed a task).

In an ideal world we’d make positive changes that will last, in reality perhaps smaller steps should be the initial goal, so instead of wanting to exercise by planning a marathon, a 10 min walk would be a positive first step and you can increase this in frequency and intensity from there if you’re able.

Worried about depression? Consider the following:

*Speak to your GP,
*Reach out to a Counsellor,
*Speak to a trusted friend of family member,
*Spend time in nature, exercise, meditate,
*Journal your thoughts and track these over time to pinpoint improvements or deteriorations,
*Look at your diet and alcohol or drug use, is this hindering your mood?
*Complete a Life Audit using a scaling technique, this is where we chart on a scale of 1-10 how fulfilled we are in certain areas of life such as, Friends, Family, Finances, Career, Health, Understanding of Self and, Spirituality (if relevant).

Bio - https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellors/jordan-gooch
www - flowdown.co.uk

Healthy boundaries are essential for our well-being, but they can be difficult to establish and hard to maintain.

I’m sure we’ve all had that feeling where we’ve said “yes” to something which really, we would have preferred to have said “no" to, and there are lots of factors as to why we may have said "yes":

We may have felt pressured by family or friends,
Out of duty to another person who has asked for help (people-pleasing),
We may have grown up in an environment where our caregivers didn’t have boundaries themselves, so we never witnessed this in our formative years or,
We’re not even aware of why?

Again, boundaries are difficult to establish and paradoxically, some of our own needs may be getting met by being there for others, but this can be a drain in the long run and what you gain from this initially may breed resentment in time.

To get to grips with boundaries we must look at ourselves and our own values and what we want from different relationships, ideally your boundaries will reflect your values.

Consider:

*What are your most important values?
*What constitutes a healthy relationship and what boundaries may be helpful?
*Do any of your role models exhibit boundaries and if so, what are they?
*What boundaries would you set with people if you knew there wouldn’t be any conflict?

Knowing your boundaries will make it less likely that you’ll agree to do something you’re uncomfortable with but remember, we cannot stop people from stepping over the line, but what we can do is be clear about what our expectations are and if needed, reinforce them.

This is the first part of realising what we’d like our boundaries to look like, the next steps are to consider how we employ our boundaries and then how to maintain them, I’ll cover these in a later post. #psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #NCPS

Bio - https://www.counselling-directory.org.uk/counsellors/jordan-gooch
www - flowdown.co.uk

Healthy boundaries are essential for our well-being, but they can be difficult to establish and hard to maintain.

I’m sure we’ve all had that feeling where we’ve said “yes” to something which really, we would have preferred to have said “no" to, and there are lots of factors as to why we may have said "yes":

We may have felt pressured by family or friends,
Out of duty to another person who has asked for help (people-pleasing),
We may have grown up in an environment where our caregivers didn’t have boundaries themselves, so we never witnessed this in our formative years or,
We’re not even aware of why?

Again, boundaries are difficult to establish and paradoxically, some of our own needs may be getting met by being there for others, but this can be a drain in the long run and what you gain from this initially may breed resentment in time.

To get to grips with boundaries we must look at ourselves and our own values and what we want from different relationships, ideally your boundaries will reflect your values.

Consider:

*What are your most important values?
*What constitutes a healthy relationship and what boundaries may be helpful?
*Do any of your role models exhibit boundaries and if so, what are they?
*What boundaries would you set with people if you knew there wouldn’t be any conflict?

Knowing your boundaries will make it less likely that you’ll agree to do something you’re uncomfortable with but remember, we cannot stop people from stepping over the line, but what we can do is be clear about what our expectations are and if needed, reinforce them.

This is the first part of realising what we’d like our boundaries to look like, the next steps are to consider how we employ our boundaries and then how to maintain them, I’ll cover these in a later post. #psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing #anxiety #onlinetherapy #NCPS

According to the Counselling Directory, the term Anxiety was searched for 85,000 times in November 2023, it is the most common keyword potential clients use, 60% more than the 2nd most common term, ‘Depression’.

Anxiety is a mental state where we expect negative events to happen. In the mind, it causes more alertness and fear which is then turned into distress and worry. In the body, it causes the unpleasant activation of many body systems to help respond to an unknown danger, whether it is real or imagined. These events trigger a fight or flight response which is an acute stress response that prepares the body to fight or flee.

Persistent anxiety over time can become Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD).

Grounding and coping strategies are useful to help pause the anxiety cycle. Over time we can be more aware of how our thoughts, feelings, physical sensations are altering our behaviours.

There is a breathing strategy called the “Physiological Sigh” which has been used since the 1930’s, its 1 big inhale of breath through the nose, immediately followed up by another nasal inhale to maximise the air in your lungs, then through pursed lips release the air through your mouth, you can do this a 2/3 times, it’s also good because depending on where you are, you can largely do this unnoticed. It’s also a tool that can help you fall asleep at night.

You can challenge your irrational thoughts by putting them on trial. This can be challenging but over time we can reshape the internal narratives which we live by that often go unnoticed as they’re often stored in our subconscious mind. Here we’re trying to find the evidence to support our irrational thought or belief, questioning ourselves is particularly helpful as this challenge can lead to changes in thoughts which impact your belief system.

Examples include:

“Is this thought based on facts or feelings”?
“How likely is it that this fear will come true”?
“What is most likely to happen”?
“If this did come true, would it matter next week, next month or next year”?

There are many other coping strategies for Anxiety which a trained therapist can help you establish. #psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing

According to the Counselling Directory, the term Anxiety was searched for 85,000 times in November 2023, it is the most common keyword potential clients use, 60% more than the 2nd most common term, ‘Depression’.

Anxiety is a mental state where we expect negative events to happen. In the mind, it causes more alertness and fear which is then turned into distress and worry. In the body, it causes the unpleasant activation of many body systems to help respond to an unknown danger, whether it is real or imagined. These events trigger a fight or flight response which is an acute stress response that prepares the body to fight or flee.

Persistent anxiety over time can become Generalised Anxiety Disorder (GAD).

Grounding and coping strategies are useful to help pause the anxiety cycle. Over time we can be more aware of how our thoughts, feelings, physical sensations are altering our behaviours.

There is a breathing strategy called the “Physiological Sigh” which has been used since the 1930’s, its 1 big inhale of breath through the nose, immediately followed up by another nasal inhale to maximise the air in your lungs, then through pursed lips release the air through your mouth, you can do this a 2/3 times, it’s also good because depending on where you are, you can largely do this unnoticed. It’s also a tool that can help you fall asleep at night.

You can challenge your irrational thoughts by putting them on trial. This can be challenging but over time we can reshape the internal narratives which we live by that often go unnoticed as they’re often stored in our subconscious mind. Here we’re trying to find the evidence to support our irrational thought or belief, questioning ourselves is particularly helpful as this challenge can lead to changes in thoughts which impact your belief system.

Examples include:

“Is this thought based on facts or feelings”?
“How likely is it that this fear will come true”?
“What is most likely to happen”?
“If this did come true, would it matter next week, next month or next year”?

There are many other coping strategies for Anxiety which a trained therapist can help you establish. #psychotherapy #counselling #therapy #wellbeing

I’m officially launching Flow Down Therapy, a Counselling and Psychotherapy practice for adults wanting to work through their common life issues.

I work with people who are dealing with (not limited to): Anxiety, Depression, Loss, Grief, Shame, Guilt, Anger, Career Changes, Relationship Issues, Addictions, Confidence and Self Esteem, Life Purpose and Fulfilment difficulties.

All sessions are remote (online or phone). I’m fully UK qualified and an Accredited member of the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS), I’m fully insured to practice with a current DBS check.

All info is available on flowdown.co.uk

Get in touch for more info or to book an initial consultation (zero cost).

Evening appointments are available. All communication is confidential. #psychotherapy
#counselling
#therapy
#wellbeing

I’m officially launching Flow Down Therapy, a Counselling and Psychotherapy practice for adults wanting to work through their common life issues.

I work with people who are dealing with (not limited to): Anxiety, Depression, Loss, Grief, Shame, Guilt, Anger, Career Changes, Relationship Issues, Addictions, Confidence and Self Esteem, Life Purpose and Fulfilment difficulties.

All sessions are remote (online or phone). I’m fully UK qualified and an Accredited member of the National Counselling and Psychotherapy Society (NCPS), I’m fully insured to practice with a current DBS check.

All info is available on flowdown.co.uk

Get in touch for more info or to book an initial consultation (zero cost).

Evening appointments are available. All communication is confidential. #psychotherapy
#counselling
#therapy
#wellbeing

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@flowdowntherapy

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